


Remembering

by bip_1060



Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 21:01:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bip_1060/pseuds/bip_1060
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Steve Rogers adjusts to the new world he's woken up in, he reflects on the one that got away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembering

It’s been two weeks since Captain Steven Rogers, aka Captain America, woke up in 2011. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this new century, and if the team he was introduced  
to today was anything to go by, it wasn’t too sure about him either. 

He was sitting on a bench outside the SHEILD office, thinking about all of the people he’d never see again. Like Howard.

1943

Steve was getting some repairs done on his uniform. Fighting Hydra agents all over Europe was hard on the suit, but fortunately not hard on the shield.

Howard Stark, resident mechanical genius and millionaire, was working on the patching. Steve had never met anyone like Howard. Cocky, sure of himself, brilliant, worldly, and somehow he still managed to like Steve, the nobody from Brooklyn. No one would be likely to match Howard for anything as long as Steve was alive. And he always looked good too. He never looked messy or unkempt despite the fact that they were in the middle of fighting a war, with somewhat limited resources when it came to primping products. The man wore suits and a lab coat most of the time. Always the professional, flirting excluded. 

Steve wasn’t envious of the man. Well, not anymore. Not after the serum. No it was more like he was in awe. He knew that serum or not he’d never be that smooth or smart or perfect. 

So, Steve recognizes that he has a little bit of a crush. It’s not like he’d ever do anything about it. He’s never been able to talk to girls, much less talk to someone like Howard. At least about anything personal. He could talk to him about the suit, the shield and Hydra and the list ended there. Fortunately that gave them plenty to talk about. After all, those were the only reasons they had to talk.

“You know, Steve, you don’t have to wait around for me to be done,” Howard said, shocking Steve out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, yeah I know,” Steve said, with his eyes looking anywhere but Howard. “But it gives me a chance to just sit and relax. You know, not be planning another attack for a while.”

Howard nodded over the suit. “Yeah, I get that. So, what did you want to do before the war?”

“I was an art student.”

“You’re kidding,” Howard said as he looked at Steve in shock.

“Well, you’ve seen me draw right?”

“Huh? Oh, the suit. Yeah, I guess. Here,” he said, handing Steve a pad and a pencil he got off a shelf. “While you’re sitting here doing nothing, draw me a portrait. Haven’t had a good picture of myself taken in a while. I’m starting to miss the cameras.”

“Oh, okay.”

Steve looked at Howard now that the man wasn’t focused on him anymore. He was bent over his work, brow furrowed. 

Steve started to draw. 

He’d never really had someone voluntarily sit still for a portrait before. Mostly he drew people around the city where he could. He’d drawn Bucky a few times, when he could get him to stop running around. To have Howard volunteer was a nice change. Of course, Steve was aware that Howard was probably used to being stared at. So going about his work while someone drew him probably didn’t even register for the young genius. 

Steve finished his portrait just has Howard finished Steve’s suit.

“So, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Howard said.

Steve blushed and said, “It’s just a quick sketch. Nothing special.”

Howard looked at the piece of paper Steve handed to him. He seemed to consider it for a minute or so. To Steve it felt like an hour. Then – 

“You’re good. You’re really good. It’s too bad this war interrupted your studies. And here’s your suit. Try not to beat it up so hard next time out, huh.”

“Can’t help the way battles go, Howard,” Steve said as he left the room. 

“Fine, but don’t take it out on my suit!” he heard Howard, yell.

 

2011

Nick Fury sat down next to Steve on the bench. 

“Thinking about something, Cap?”

“Howard.”

“Ah. Yeah. You know, he kept looking for you. He kept up Stark Industries funded expeditions as long as he was alive.”

Steve smiled. “That sounds like Howard. He was a good man.”

“What did you think of his son?” Fury asked with an amused tone of voice.

“He’s a lot like Howard. He certainly looks like him.”

“But…?”

“But, he’s angrier than Howard. More of a chip on his shoulder.”

“Yeah, that might be Howard’s fault. Or Stark the younger could just be a jackass. It’s a bit of a toss up to be honest.”

“Howard didn’t like his father either. But he wasn’t so, so, caustic about it.”

Fury frowned. “I never heard Howard talk about his father. Other than to do with the company.”

“Well…”

 

1943

“So you never met your father?”

“Nope. He died in the first war.”

“Too bad. If he was anything like you, then he was a great man.”

“Wow, Howard. Thanks. “

“No problem,” Howard said.

“Well, what is your father like?”

Howard hesitated. They were having dinner together. It had become a new tradition for them to have dinner together whenever Steve was on base. They were slowly becoming friends. Good friends too. Unlikely friends. They had very little in common to the outside viewer. And to themselves. They spent a quarter of their time together trying to figure out why they got along. 

There was major hesitation over this question though. Howard had never paused for this long. 

“Listen, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just not sure what to say.”

“Look, just don’t worry about it.”

“No, really. Let’s see. He’s demanding. Of everyone, but especially of me. He’s a great business man, and doesn’t believe in any nonsense. He… hates me.”

“No, what, Howard.”

Steve went around the table and dropped to his knees next to Howard’s chair. 

“Your father doesn’t hate you.”

“I didn’t mean to say that. Too much wine.”

“Howard – “

“No really, Steve, forget it.”

“I can’t just forget a statement like that. Why do you think he hates you?”

Howard unbuttoned his sleeve on his right arm and pointed to three perfectly round scars on his forearm.

“He gave me these for playing with his lighter. Not because he thought I would hurt myself with it, but because he was afraid I would break it. I was four years old.”

Steve sat next to Howard’s chair quietly. Then, just as Howard looked like he was about to speak, Steve wrapped one hand around Howard’s forearm and took the man’s hand in his free one. 

“There has to be something deeply wrong with your father for him to ever want to hurt you.”

“You mean hurt his son.”

“No, I mean hurt you.”

The two men sat holding each other’s hands for a long time.

 

2011

“Yikes. Guess Stark senior didn’t have a great role model.”

“No, he didn’t. But he still managed to be more optimistic than his son.”

“Well, Stark junior didn’t have to grow up as soon as his father did. Not sure he ever grew up actually.”

“And Howard grew up too fast.”

“Well, if this one ever reproduces maybe that kid will balance it out.”

“Maybe.”

 

1943

Bucky was dead. Steve couldn’t even begin to wrap his mind around that statement. 

Bucky is dead. Bucky. James “Bucky” Barnes is dead. How was that even possible? It shouldn’t be possible. How could it be possible that Steve managed to save him against all odds, only to be responsible for Bucky falling to his death?

Steve knew he’d have to get up eventually, but for right now all he could do was lie in his bunk. 

He heard someone walk in but he couldn’t raise his head. Couldn’t look around. Red Skull could walk in right now with no problems. Steve couldn’t care less.

It was Howard. He didn’t say anything. He just lay down next to Steve on the bunk and put his arms around the other man. Two of the most powerful men in the world lay in each other’s arms, soaking up all the comfort they could before the world needed them again. 

 

2011

Steve sat in the cafeteria of the SHEILD building. All of the technology of this century was baffling to him. Howard would have loved it though. 

That having been said, half of this stuff was probably created because of things that Howard created. 

“Captain!” 

Steve turned around and saw Thor approaching him. Thor. God of Thunder. Life was strange in this century.

“I love this beverage,” the large, blonde man said, referring to his cup of coffee.

”Yeah, coffee is great.”

“Yet you don’t drink it.”

“Well, I used to. In the mornings, to wake up, you know. But since the serum it has no effect.”

“How unfortunate. What about mead?”

“Um, generally we Americans drink beer. And also, no effect. My metabolism makes it completely impossible for me to get drunk.”

Thor frowned deeply. “That is most unfortunate.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

“Well, Captain, how do you find Midgard in this time?”

“Find?”

“Like.”

“Oh. It’s difficult to get used to. I mean, I’m still a soldier so that’s something, but the way things are at SHEILD is so different from the way things were before.”

“Ah, yes. Switching from one manner of war to another would be most disquieting. Things must have changed much since you were last awake. The people you know must all be gone now. The son of Coul told me that you were acquainted with Iron Man’s father.”

“Yes. Howard.”

“Did you know him well?”

“We were friends. I miss him. I wish he were here now.”

“Yes, a familiar face would be most comforting to you I’m sure. Why do you not talk to Iron Man more then? Perhaps he would be a similar presence to his father.”

“It’s a thought, but he doesn’t seem to like me.”

“How could he not like the warrior who came back from dying for his country?”

“I think I’m too 1940s for him,” Steve replied. 

It was the third week since Steve had woken up, and he was slowly being accepted by the team. Thor seemed to be the friendliest. Probably because he couldn’t discern any difference between the way Steve behaves and the way the rest of the Midgardians he’s come in contact with behave. The large, friendly God of Thunder made Steve feel remarkably human and normal. Not like a man seventy years outside of his time period.

But Tony seemed to be the holdout. No manner of coaxing could get him to drop his most obnoxious attitude when around Steve. Fury had yelled at him multiple times. So had Coulson. And the rest of the team may be coming around, but that didn’t mean they were going to jump up and defend him from Tony’s barbs. 

Howard wasn’t like that. Howard wasn’t mean. Well, he wasn’t mean to Steve anyway. But Steve didn’t expect Tony to be like Howard. Yes the comparison was there but it would always be there. Tony and Howard were two totally different people. They had things in common sure, but Howard grew up in a war, where fighting and violence, and death were almost considered standard, as long as it was the enemy who was dying. But Tony, Tony grew up in a time when the world judged those who made weapons, and he’d seen his weapons used incorrectly. Steve had heard about Stane and Afghanistan from a few of the agents at SHIELD. 

Steve understood. War is terrible, and not everyone is an honorable soldier. To fight those kinds of people is why Steve joined the Army, and why Tony made his suit and shut down the weapons manufacturing part of Stark Industries. Tony was a good man, and Steve had never thought any different, despite all the barbs Tony throws his way. A good man, but kind of a jack ass. 

 

Steve slowly stops thinking about Howard so much. It’s difficult though. They wasted so much time being afraid of what would happen if they gave into each other. Neither was completely willing to risk it. 

Howard kept looking for him after his death, Steve knows, he remembers, because Howard said he’d never leave Steve alone. After Buck, he said he’d never leave Steve alone. He tried so hard. And then he died. And now Steve is awake… and alone. 

Steve visits Howard’s grave once a month. It’s a sort of ritual that helps Steve process being in this new world, to tell Howard about it. He knows Howard would have loved it. He knows Howard would have been amazed by his son. He was probably always amazed by Tony. Tony is probably the best of everything Howard was. At the age Howard’s drinking got worse, Tony’s got better. Howard invented weapons that he rarely saw up close in action, and Tony saw and destroyed his. They’re both heroes to Steve, just ones with very different approaches. 

Steve is explaining this to Howard when – 

“Really?”

“Tony! I, uh, I didn’t know you were there.”

“Apparently. You come and tell my dead father what a great guy I am?”

“How’d you know I was here?”

“It’s my father’s grave. There’s surveillance. You come here enough for someone to call and tell me. Answer the question.”

“Yes. I come and tell Howard everything.”

“I… You don’t think I should be more like him?”

“No. From what I understand, by the time he got to your age he wasn’t really someone to admire outside of his work.”

“Yeah, that’s true, but even Fury thinks that he was better than me.”

“Tony, I can guarantee you, Howard would think that you’re a much better man than he is.”

The other man fell silent for a moment. They stood there and looked at Howard’s headstone. Howard Stark, in big bold letters. Bold like Howard.

“Has anyone explained the concept of a cell phone to you? Because apparently you’ve been incommunicado for like ever, and SHIELD is freaking out.”

“I’ve seen them, but I don’t have one.”

“How is that possible? Come on, we need to remedy this. I’ll get you a prototype of the new StarkPhone. It’s gonna blow your 1940s mind!”

The two men left the cemetery slowly, Tony babbling on about things Steve didn’t really care about. But it was okay. At least Tony was talking to him now.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's my story, and as it turns out this is just the beginning. I am currently working on a follow up to this story, in which Steve gets closer to his team, and adjusts to living in 2012. That having been said the reality is that it's going to be based mostly on the preceding films and not so much on the Avengers movie itself. I am probably going to take some personality details from the Avengers, little bits of backstory but no real plot influences. Thank you for your support and don't forget to comment. New story coming soon!


End file.
